Calvinism: A Visit To The Dark Side

"Though this be madness, yet there is method in 't.". - Shakespeare, Hamlet (Act II, Scene II).

After getting a church and Christian school recommendations, my parents moved us across country feeling secure. The reality turned out quite differently. The Grace Church in San Jose was run by basically one large family and their rigid moral codes stunned even my parents. After starting school and finding out where other families went, we switched to Covenant Orthodox Presbyterian Church which was less rigid than the previous, but more so than the OPC back east. However, many of my new friends were there so I felt this was my new home.

I was learning that to belong, one had to conform to the structure. I had seen people practically excommunicated for being "different".  They were called names and shunned for growing spiritually and altering their beliefs even in the slightest degree. My own spiritual education continued and I was gradually exposed to the dark sides of Christian belief systems. Namely Calvinism.  Calvinism is a system of belief invented by John Calvin and is based upon the five point T-U-L-I-P.

Total depravity
Unconditional Election
Limited Atonement
Irresistible Grace
Perseverance of the Saints

Whoa! I was just a Sophomore in High School but I had serious problems with this. The doctrine of predestination is a cruel one but strangely, seemed to appeal to some Christians. I carefully spoke to my friends about their beliefs and knew their answers to be simple parroting of their parents beliefs. I realized predestination was the justification for lack of compassion for others and was disturbed that other people's eternal souls could be so casually written off. This was not sounding like Jesus.

Another gem was the last days doctrine. Back then you could choose between premillenialism, postmillenialism, or amillenialism and still be considered a Christian. Very democratic of them. It was carefully explained to us what each meant before being informed that we were postmillenialists. Whatever.

I was getting excellent grades at school but in Bible class, now called Doctrine, we were allowed no questions that pertained to our belief systems. Not only was it off limits, but they would call your parents if you asked a particularly difficult one. It was considered to be a challenge of authority and disrespectful. Gender roles were introduced. Although  girls were encouraged to do well at school, their assumed role in life was to be wives and mothers. Many women I went to school with have decades later never held down even a part time job. Little by little I was indoctrinated to accept and yes, embrace these teachings.

When my parents decided to change churches once again, I strongly resisted. Even with all the problems, I simply did not want to leave my friends again. They were really fun and I belonged to the group.  I believed in Jesus and didn't care about weird doctrine. But it was no use and we were carted off to Los Gatos Christian Church.